Yearbook.

Thursday, May 26, 2011 | post a comment {0}

Looking back on this year, I realize I have done nothing worthwhile. And it's pretty depressing.

The year started out pretty promising actually.
Orchesis, URC, Step team. All of these clubs made me very happy and made my first semester pretty great. My grades went right down the crapper, however, and my mom made me quit all of them. I thought it was the end of the world but I moved on and my grades reached the highest they ever had been and I guess I gained happiness from that if anything.

But now here we are, at the end of the school year. My grades have once again fallen to their pathetic positions of borderline and the yearbook is a permanent record of the nothing-ness I have achieved this year. To look at my last name in the index and only see one number next to it, (the number to my ID picture...), basically reiterates the fact of me being absolutely sucky at everything.

I missed the opportunity to get good grades. I missed the opportunity to be in clubs I really enjoyed. I missed the opportunity to make new friends. I feel like I've missed everything.

And of course I could still have the audacity to admit that I still feel like it's somewhat your fault for all of this. Well actually, don't get me wrong, a lot of the shit that was and is in my life is your fault, but I know not everything can be blamed on you. Not the crushing feeling of having only one picture in the yearbook because I wasn't doing what I loved for long enough to count. Nor the sad feeling I get when I look at my grades, my lack of friends, and pretty much shitty looking summer that's coming soon.

I hope I can shake off these sad feelings with all the fun things to come this weekend. I was built to party nonsensically. I can't be sitting at home dwelling on bad things; It's my downfall. Put me in a place to entertain people and that's when I forget everything. I guess playing the game of real life just isn't my thing.

Vicki.